So after travel and then this freak October storm that demolished the Northeast and has forced me (and so many others in CT) to bounce around in search of internet that is working in the present, I was able to get my picks done. Hopefully the internet lasts long enough for me to publish this post.
New York (A) at Buffalo (-2.5)
Last week, the resurgent Bills were responsible for handing Mike Shanahan his first shutout defeat ever as a head coach. Hopefully those same resurgent Bills will be able to hand Jet-hating America the Jets first defeat in which Rex Ryan shuts up and doesn’t make a mockery of being a head coach in the NFL.
Pick: Jets (and to win)
Seattle at Dallas (-11)
Another strike against “America’s Team,” last week they allowed a team that boasted themselves to be the best coming into the season but looked as good as Andre Smith did running the 40-yard dash demolish them. I am serious we should start the “Occupy Cowboys Stadium” movement and officially have the “America’s Team” title removed from this abomination of a football team. Alright, maybe that’s not necessary, but seriously has there ever been a team that has deserved the title less?
Pick: Seahawks (and to clarify any confusion, I am picking the Texans to win, but not cover the spread).
Atlanta at Indianapolis (+6.5)
The Colts’ playoff hopes this year without Peyton Manning may be the only thing that lasted for a shorter time than Kris Humphries’ marriage to whichever Kardashian it was he married. With Robert Mathis stating that he doesn’t want to “Suck for Luck,” our suspicions have been confirmed that Robert Mathis just sucks. But don’t feel bad Mathis, clearly the rest of your teammates also suck regardless of the presence of a goofy looking college quarterback.
Pick: Falcons.
Miami at Kansas City (-5)
The Chiefs could win their 5th game in a row! Too bad no one will give them credit for being good because they have beaten the Colts, the McNabb led Vikings, and now the winless Dolphins would mark their 5th victory in a row. The Chiefs would get more credit for having a 5 game winning streak in the Canadian Football League. And they just run into goal posts.
Pick: Chiefs.
Tampa Bay at New Orleans (-8.5)
The Saints followed up a rout of the Colts with a loss at the hands of the Rams…quarterbacked by AJ Feely. That’s like beating up a little kid, only to have his slightly older sister come and pound on you.
Pick: Saints.
San Francisco at Washington (+5)
How bad has John Beck played? People in Washington are clamoring for Rex Grossman to come back as their quarterback. Pretty soon they will be asking Donovan McNabb to return. Alright, that is ridiculous. But the Washington Nationals have contacted McNabb about being the guy who throws groundballs to their infielders during spring training because he is really good at it.
Pick: 49ers.
Cleveland at Houston (-10.5)
The Texans have been able to survive without their star wide receiver Andre Johnson for the last few weeks. The Browns have been able to survive without a star for the past few decades…well actually they haven’t, there was that whole thing where they moved to Baltimore and then magically reappeared.
Pick: Browns.
New York (N) at New England (-9.5)
Eli Manning did his best Plaxico Burress impression and shot himself in the foot this off-season when he claimed to be at a similar quarterbacking level to Tom Brady. How bad is Eli? His brother hasn’t taken a snap all year long and he is still getting more press for being a great quarterback than Eli is.
Pick: Patriots.
Bonus Over/Under: How many times will David Tyree, from whatever couch he finds himself sitting in, be able to relive the high point (and only highlight) of his life this week (a.k.a. how many times will we see the “Helmet Grab” in Sunday coverage)? Over/Under: 3. Over
Double Bonus Over/Under: How many boobs will Julian Edelman grope during the game? Over/Under: 3. Over
Denver at Oakland (-7)
Alright which quarterback experiment will blow up worse this weekend: Carson Palmer or Tim Tebow? Hue Jackson called the Carson Palmer trade one of the best trades in NFL history, right up there with the Herschel Walker trade that doomed the Vikings organization for years.
Pick: Broncos (and to win).
Cincinnati at Tennessee (-2.5)
Has there been a bigger who cares game between two teams that are actually in contention…since the first 5 games of the World Series that is? Who wants to watch Carrot Top vs. some octogenarian? Tennessee fan would rather watch news reports about the unlikely event that their Grizzlies will be playing this season.
Pick: Bengals (and to win).
St. Louis at Arizona (-2.5)
The Cardinals may find themselves in a foot race to Los Angeles with the Jacksonville Jaguars and Minnesota Vikings. Could you imagine the St. Louis Rams playing the Los Angeles Cardinals? It would be mass confusion for old people trying to figure out what the hell happened to the St. Louis Cardinals and the Los Angeles Rams, they won’t even know what sport they are watching. Once the game starts, they won’t have an better idea since what these teams do each week can hardly be called playing football.
Pick: Cardinals.
Green Bay at San Diego (+5.5)
Aaron Rodgers will make a return to California, where he played college football at Cal. Packers fans are worried that he will never want to return to Wisconsin when he realizes what a dump Green Bay is compared to California. It’s like trying to convince Chargers fans that Ryan Matthews is just as good as LaDainian Tomlinson was and that we can still win with this offense led by a quarterback who looks more and more like Tony Romo every week.
Pick: Packers.
Baltimore at Pittsburgh (-3.5)
Remember in Week 1 when the Ravens beat the Steelers 35-7 and everyone was wondering if it was the beginning of the end for this Steelers team? Well 8 weeks later, some victories for the Steelers, and Joe Flacco apparently watching too many Kyle Boller videos now have the Steelers favored to beat the Ravens.
Pick: Steelers.
Chicago at Philadelphia (-7.5)
Some analysts have said that Terrell Owens would make a great fit in Chicago because Jay Cutler wouldn’t take any of his antics seriously or let him highjack his huddle. Anyone else want the Bears to sign Owens just to see those two get into a fight and then have Brian Urlacher come in and beat up both of these idiots? I know I do, more than I even want to see LeSean McCoy give Andy Reid another titty-twister.
Pick: Eagles.
thebullpenblogger 
