New York (A) at Denver (+6)
Is it just me, or should the Jets watch film and this game really closely. Triple option with Shonn Greene, LaDainian Tomlinson, and Mark Sanchez, don’t let him throw another pass EVER. Improvement. Even better improvement, include Joe McKnight in the triple option and do away with Mark “I Am Single Handedly Holding Back This Sanchise” Sanchez completely. Uber-Improvement.
Pick: Broncos.
Tampa Bay at Green Bay (-14)
Isn’t it clear now why the Bucs brought in Albert Haynesworth? They figured that the only way to beat Aaron Rodgers was to poison him with a disgusting lack of work ethic that leads to a precipitous decline in skill that was at the heart of a promising, fledgling career, thus prompting your teammates and coaches to hate you. Here’s to hoping it works.
Pick: Packers.
Carolina at Detroit (-7)
Who else is waiting for another Cadillac ad that talks about wanting to rejuvenate Detroit with Matt Stafford driving? He then gets out of the car and as soon as he does he injures himself tripping over his defense that is lying down and then his car transforms into Calvin Johnson (a robot) who flies away.
Pick: Lions.
Jacksonville at Cleveland (-1)
Thank goodness the fans in Cleveland clamored to back a “professional” football team back into their “great” city. Seriously, this game is going to be so bad the people of Cleveland are counting down the days until pitchers and catchers report.
Pick: Jaguars (and to win).
Oakland at Minnesota (+1)
Carson Palmer finally threw fewer than 3 interceptions as a Raider last week, leading them to a victory over the Chargers. Raiders fans are now clamoring for the return of Kyle Boller because they include interceptions into a quarterbacks completion percentage in the hopes that they can make them appear better than the crap that they really are.
Pick: Vikings (and to win).
Buffalo at Miami (-2)
The only thing that can confirm a complete fall into insignificance following a demolition at the hands of the Cowboys, is a loss to the Matt Moore-led Dolphins. See the Redskins and Chiefs from the previous two weeks. The Bills are well on their way to that place they know all too well.
Pick: Bills (and to win).
Dallas at Washington (+7.5)
John Beck or Rex Grossman? Rex Grossman or John Beck? That’s like choosing between cheering for the Cowboys and the Redskins. You hate both, and you know that they both stink anyways, so why bother even choosing when you could just watch better football by going to the local high school, which is ironically where Rex Grossman used to get stuffed into lockers.
Pick: Cowboys.
Cincinnati at Baltimore (-7)
The Bengals haven’t defeated a good team, and the Ravens haven’t beaten a bad team. So who wins this battle? No one because a ginger and a devolved idiot lead these two teams, and yet they are at the top of the AFC playoff list over the likes of people who have intelligence like Ryan Fitzpatrick. Score one for the morons.
Pick: Ravens.
Seattle at St. Louis (-2)
You know what’s shocking? The fact that these two teams are not vying for a playoff spot like they were last year atop the NFC West, does not make this game less interesting at all. It is still mind numbingly boring seeing as how the Seahawks team MVP goes to Steven Hauschka and the St. Louis team MVP is…wow, literally no one.
Pick: Seattle (and to win).
Arizona at San Francisco (-9.5)
The 49ers are officially for real. They have been for several weeks now, but their 8-1 record puts them two games clear in second place in the NFL. The Cardinals are officially a below average team. They have been for several weeks now, but their victory over the Eagles proved that.
Pick: 49ers.
Tennessee at Atlanta (-6)
Shouldn’t Matt Hasselbeck be in the MVP consideration seeing as how he has the Titans sitting at 5-4 with Chris Johnson looking as bad as his back up Javon Ringer, and receivers that wouldn’t be able to get open against the Patriots secondary. Even Peyton Manning couldn’t pull that off.
Pick: Titans.
San Diego at Chicago (-3.5)
Two teams moving in different directions; the Chargers, who started fast, look like they wouldn’t be able to beat Stanford, and the Bears look like they can’t be stopped. And who would have ever thought that the team with Jay Cutler would be the one moving in the right direction?
Pick: Chargers (and to win).
Philadelphia at New York (N) (-4)
Michael Vick has two cracked ribs, DeSean Jackson got benched “for missing a team meeting” (but everyone knows its for something else as well), and their 3-6 record puts them as close to the playoffs as the Cardinals, Seahawks, Jaguars, Browns, and Redskins. I don’t know what kind of dreams Vince Young has, but it may explain why his psyche shattered enough to not even allow him to be an NFL quarterback anymore. Come on Vince, anyone can do that, just ask John Skelton (who beat the lowly Eagles).
Pick: Giants.
Kansas City at New England (-15)
With Matt Cassell going down to injury, the New England Patriots 2.0 must turn to Tyler Palko to lead their anemic offense. Romeo Crennel believes that he can be like Tom Brady and come in to help this team make a late season run to and then through the playoffs. It was then discovered that Romeo Crennel was suffering from concussion symptoms that he suffered while fighting for the front of the buffet line with Charlie Weis.
Pick: Chiefs.
thebullpenblogger 