Cleveland at Pittsburgh (-14)
How do you find your way to complete irrelevance? Just ask any team in the Cleveland area. They have Peyton Hillis, who donned the cover of Madden 12, has only 321 yards this year, 3 more than Isaac Redman (the Steelers backup). Colt McCoy played for a better team wearing orange in college than he is on right now. And the best team that their leading receiver has ever played for was his college basketball team…that’s right, a completely different sport.
Pick: Browns.
Houston at Cincinnati (-3)
Anyone else shocked to hear that Marvin Lewis is the 3rd longest tenured coach with one team in the NFL right now behind Andy Reid and Bill Belichick. That’s like listing 3 Nobel Laureates, two of whom are straight genius and the other one stole his work from someone else and passed it off as his own. In Lewis’ case though, he probably would have had one of his many criminal players steal the work for him.
Pick: Bengals.
Minnesota at Detroit (-10)
The Vikings got Tebow-ed—BOOM. Really though, they shouldn’t be worried about that; instead, they should be worried that they really got Ponder-ed when he threw that late interception and put the Broncos in position to win. It’s weird, Ponder-ing looks a lot like Favre-ing, and he isn’t even with the team anymore.
Pick: Vikings (and to win).
New Orleans at Tennessee (+3.5)
Drew Brees is on pace for his second 5,000 yard passing season, an unprecedented feat in the world of quarterbacks. Matt Hasselbeck is on pace for his third straight season of starting at least 14 games, which is unprecedented for a completely bald old guy.
Pick: Saints.
Philadelphia at Miami (-3)
This matchup is actually pretty interesting as Philadelphia is bound to lose all of their “talent” to the Miami Dolphins in the offseason just like teams in other sports are losing their “talents” to South Beach.
Pick: Eagles (and to win).
Kansas City at New York (A) (-10.5)
The Chiefs haven’t scored more than 10 points in the last five games they have played. In related news, Rex Ryan hasn’t had fewer than 10 chins in the last five years.
Pick: Chiefs.
New England at Washington (+8)
The Patriots are rolling to the playoffs on the arm of Tom Brady, the legs of BenJarvus “The Law Firm” Green-Ellis, and the hands of Wes Welker. The Redskins are hurdling to the all too well known bottom of the division on the arm of Rex Grossman and John Beck, the legs of Roy Helu, and the hands of Fred Davis. Well, when you put it that way, 4 wins might actually be the top for these guys.
Pick: Patriots.
Atlanta at Carolina (+3)
Julio Jones hasn’t quite been the player that the Falcons had wanted him to be when they drafted him, but a lot of it has been due to injuries. Cam Newton hasn’t quite had the impact on the Panthers’ record that they had wanted when they drafted him, but a lot of it has been due to crappy teammates.
Pick: Falcons
Tampa Bay at Jacksonville (+3)
In the battle for Florida, all of the retirement communities will be buzzing with excitement. In other news, Viagra has sent free samples to people in Florida trying to undermine their rival Cialis. Let’s face it; no one really cares about this game at all.
Pick: Bucs.
Indianapolis at Baltimore (-16.5)
Archie Manning started his attempt to protect his sons’ starting position in Indy as the Colts are looking at the top pick in the upcoming NFL draft and should take Andrew Luck. You thought that those over-protective parents stopped when little league was over…FALSE.
Pick: Ravens.
Chicago at Denver (-3)
Tebow-ing would appear to be the complete opposite of Cutler-ing. One tries harder than anyone else in the NLF, demands the best of his teammates, wins games by whatever means necessary, and endears fans across the country to him. The other, well the other is Jay Cutler who is the epitome of…well, he’s Jay Cutler.
Pick: Broncos.
San Francisco at Arizona (+3.5)
San Francisco has clinched the NFC West already, which for them means a return to prominence and dominance. For the Cardinals it means yet another year in irrelevance and the stark realization for their three fans that these games just don’t matter.
Pick: 49ers.
Oakland at Green Bay (-12)
Carson Palmer has looked to be the best solution that any team has found in the multitude of QB injuries that have plagued the NFL so far this year. And that is with weapons at receiver that would remain on the bench behind the receivers that Aaron Rodgers benefits from.
Pick: Packers.
Buffalo at San Diego (-7)
The only thing that could stop these two teams from hurdling to the bottom on losing streaks that would make the Lions cringe is playing each other. Seriously, these two teams are crashing even worse then you thought a team coached by Norv Turner and the Bills would, which is bad.
Pick: Bills.
New York (N) at Dallas (-4.5)
This game will go a long way towards deciding which of these teams makes the playoffs. So this game is both important and in December. At least we know that Tony Romo won’t show up and will play about as well as the Eagles have all season long.
Pick: Giants (and to win).
St. Louis and Seattle (-10)
I think its clear to everyone that this game was slotted for Monday Night Football because the NFL was hoping that these two teams would once again be in a battle to win the division with a losing record. As it turns out though, these two teams are just in a battle for absolutely nothing. Seriously, these are the games that make you wonder how athletes stay excited about playing this crap game.
Pick: Seahawks.
thebullpenblogger 