Rare Reads 1-9

I have compiled some interesting articles for you to read when you find some time.  Take a look and let me know what you think.

The first takes an interesting look at the concussion issue and how it manifested itself in the first round of the playoffs.  Gregg Easterbrook is a well known author – but his work in the 7^th and 8^th paragraphs of this piece are really well done. http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/page/tmq140107/the-nfl-playoffs-cold-get-used-it

An interesting look at how writers who keep their ballots secretive after the results of Hall of Fame voting is released adversely affect those players who find their way in. http://www.baseballprospectus.com/article.php?articleid=22531

A quick and fascinating look at how teams in major European soccer are have changed their approach to transfers and the data that they consider in evaluating players. http://worldsport.blogs.cnn.com/2013/11/06/big-data-and-footballs-search-for-the-holy-grail/

A simple yet important look at the fledgling world of advanced hockey statistics. http://www.xnsports.com/explanation-advanced-hockey-stats-fantasy-applications/

The conversation around a change in the fixture schedule that players in the major European soccer leagues, particularly the Barclays Premier League, in World Cup years. http://espnfc.com/blog/_/name/tacticsandanalysis/id/2445?cc=5901

A young man’s thought process behind the difficult decision to play Canadian Junior hockey or major college hockey, a decision that does not exist to the same extent in other major sports in the U.S. http://blogs.thescore.com/nhl/2012/05/11/my-experience-with-the-choice-between-major-junior-and-college-hockey/

A thought-provoking look at what the MLB trade deadline might look like if players were swapped in a soccer-like transfer method.  http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1719118-imagining-an-mlb-trade-deadline-with-soccer-like-transfer-fees

8 to Contemplate – The BCS National Championship Game

So lets get right to it – the first “8 to Contemplate.”  These observations came as a result of watching Florida State’s thrilling victory over Auburn in the BCS National Championship Game.  I would encourage you to read these 8 observations, and then, you know, contemplate them.  Really think about what expanded rosters might do for the NFL game, or how Kelvin Benjamin will translate at the next level.

Don’t forget to interact if, in the course of your contemplation, you have an interesting insight.  If the writer is the only one with the insights, what fun is that?

1. Jimbo Fisher and his coaching staff made all of the correct adjustments at halftime – they not only recruit well, but they can do work on the sidelines.  The second half saw Florida State dominate on offense, defense, and special teams.  They had their players ready to play and prevented Auburn from doing the things that had worked so well in the first half, specifically neutralizing the defensive pressure enough by increasing the tempo and reducing the level of pre-snap shifts.
2. Tre Mason was underrated the entire season and had his team been ranked in the pre-season he would have had a stronger showing in the Heisman race – and may have won it.  Mason carried the ball 34 times for 195 yards against a defense that had not allowed a 100-yard rusher since October and he chewed up yards both between and bouncing outside the tackles.
3. This game – coupled with the SEC Championship Game – showed the importance of special teams, and thus coaching in the college football game.  A coaching staff must prepare their entire team to handle all scenarios (and having an automatic as Roberto Aguayo doesn’t hurt).
4. Kelvin Benjamin will be a very good receiver at the next level.  He uses his frame well to make sure he gets to balls before defensive backs have a chance to knock them away, but he will need to show that he can handle more physical corners at the line at the next level.
5. The offense that Nick Marshall runs allowed him to avoid the “Freshman playing in the National Championship Game” jitters more so than Jameis Winston early, but they both showed them and Winston had a chance to settle down while Marshall’s rust reared its head late.
6. The SEC finally lost – and that is a good thing.  Heading into the new playoff system (good riddance bowl system), any biases aside, a more balanced landscape and thus playoff breakdown will be good for college football as a whole.  Florida State’s victory (as well as Oklahoma’s dominance of Alabama in the Sugar Bowl) allow for voters to recognize the strength at the top of the other power conferences.
7. Timmy Jernigan taking a breather in the 4^th quarter shows the importance of depth in college football and may also signal the need for large rosters in the NFL.  As player safety remains an issue and wanting to ensure that the highest level of football is consistently played, the League should consider larger rosters.
8. The month long layoff between the end of conference championships and the National Championship Game is awful and really sacrifices some of the integrity of the game.

The Return

To my readers,

I am finding my way back to the bullpen.

I will once again be providing information (however insightful or not) related to sports – all sports.  I have decided to primarily provided this information in three methods, each of which will offer a different perspective for the reader:

1.  8 to Contemplate – For events in the sporting world or at key points in different seasons, I will offer 8 observations that will encourage the reader to look at things a little differently or consider how things could be different if changes were made.

2. Rare Reads – This will offer the reader articles, columns, or blogs that I have found particularly interesting.  These will include unique takes on major stories in the major sports, but also information on sports or leagues that you otherwise might not seek.

3.  Individual Insights – Finally (and probably most obviously) since it is a blog, I will offer my own personal insights and takes on all things sports related.  These pieces may include humor, hyperbole, or sarcasm and will focus on statistical or business understandings of those magical things that we call sports (or at least that I do, if you know me, you know there are things I consider sports, and other I do not).

I hope that you enjoy the information provided and interact with me to continually dive deeper.  As always, I welcome suggestions on topics to write about as I am always up for good, new sports conversations.

Happy reading.

What We Learned from the 2011 NFL Season

256 regular season games and 10 post-season games have boiled down to the New England Patriots facing off against the New York Football Giants in Indianapolis. But before taking a look forward to that game, we should take a look at the 266 games that have already been played, and see what we have learned from them.

Here are 5 takeaways from the NFL season:

1. Tight Ends are the hottest position in the NFL:

I have tweeted it before, but reject basketball players take note, teams across the NFL will be looking for big, strong, tall, and athletic guys who can catch footballs. Before this season, a tight end had never amassed 1,300 yards receiving in a single season. This year, two players did it: Rob Gronkowski (1,327) and Jimmy Graham (1,310). These two players were also two of the five players to score more than 10 receiving touchdowns, and Gronkowski led the league with 17 grabs in the end zone. 14 of the top 50 receivers in the NFL this season were tight ends. The list of accolades goes on for players such as: Aaron Hernandez, Vernon Davis, Jason Witten, Antonio Gates, Tony Gonzalez, Dustin Keller, Brent Celek, and Jermichael Finley.

The fact of the matter is this, tight ends cause match-up problems for defenses especially in the red zone and on third down, the most crucial areas of the game to convert in order to find success. Just get used to talking about your team’s tight end and selecting a tight end a few rounds earlier in your fantasy draft.

2. 5,000 is the new 2,000:

Remember when there was a huge countdown during the 1997 season to the moment when Barry Sanders hit the 2,000 rushing yard mark for the season? He was only the third player to ever hit that mark, joining O.J. Simpson (1973) and Eric Dickerson (1984). The year after that, Terrell Davis would hit the 2,000 yard mark and since Sanders became the third player to hit the 2,000 yard mark, the number of players to hit that plateau has doubled to 6. The 2,000 yard mark used to be hallowed ground, and still is, but 4 players doing it in a 12 year period of time, makes it a little less so. This season, however has made another plateau the new mark that will begin to be hit with some level of consistency: The 5,000 passing yard mark.

Before the 2008 season, only one player, Dan Marino, had ever thrown for 5,000 yards in a single season. Then Drew Brees hit that mark in the 2008 season. Three years later, this season, three different players hit the mark: Drew Brees (again), Tom Brady, and Matthew Stafford. Eli Manning missed the mark by a mere 67 yards. It comes as no shock that 8 of the top 10 single season passing totals have come since the year 2000, and that 7 of 10 have come after 2006. This is a milestone that will begin to be hit with some amount of regularity as the game has shifted so drastically to passing.

3. Defense may win championships, but offense gets you to the playoffs:

The old adage is that defense wins championships. To win a championship, however, you must first get to the playoffs. Of the 12 teams that made the playoffs this season, 11 ranked in the top 10 of either passing or rushing offense. On the other side, only 6 of the teams had a defense that ranked in the top 10 of either passing or rushing defense. 9 of the top 12 teams in the league in terms of points scored made the playoffs, but only 5 of the top 12 teams in points allowed made the playoffs. Its just that simple, offense gets you to the playoffs.

4. The next record to fall will the be the single season sack record:

This is seemingly common sense based off of the first three points that were made. Teams are dropping back to throw the ball at a steadily increasing rate, 11 teams this season dropped back to pass the ball more than 575 times, an increase of 3 from the previous season. This means more chances of teams to record sacks, 14 teams recorded more than 40 sacks this past season (as compared to only 9 last year). Jared Allen recorded 22 sacks this season, just .5 short of the mark set by Michael Strahan (on a gift sack of Brett Favre, who called the play for Strahan and just slid down on his side of the line, but I am not bitter as a huge Vikings and Jared Allen fan).

Similar to the trend of more athletic and terrifyingly intense tight ends, there is a growing emphasis and success of athletic and intense big men flying off of the edges for football teams. Guys like Jason Pierre-Paul, DeMarcus Ware, Brian Orakpo, Elvis Dumervil, Mario Williams, and Terrell Suggs are called upon to disrupt quarterbacks with pressure with increasing regularity and worry about the run later. There is a huge stock of big men with motors that just keep running on passing downs and that means that Strahan’s mark will fall within 3 seasons.

5. The Wildcat, Option, and other gimmicky looks are here to stay:

Gimmick offensive sets and looks are here to stay in the NFL. Teams may not build around option style offenses (see Tebow), but teams will continually look for ways to keep defenses off balance and this is one of the best ways to do that. Hybrid quarterbacks, running backs, wide receivers, and tight ends will continue to find spots on NFL rosters. The days of a simple two receiver, one tight end, one half-back, one fullback look for a majority of the game are over. You may not like it, but embrace Aaron Hernandez lining up alone in the backfield or Percy Harvin taking snaps at quarterback, because they now have an established foothold in the NFL.

NFL Championship Weekend Handicapper

Baltimore at New England (-7)

Offense:  Who would you rather follow into battle?  The guy who looks and throws like Bert?  Or George Washington?  I mean seriously, I know Tom Brady hasn’t brought his Patriots to post-season glory recently, but he has won 3 Super Bowls.  He puts up numbers that Joe Flacco couldn’t even put up at Delaware against defenses that Tim Tebow could shred with his arm.  Brady makes throws that Flacco can’t make in video games.  And this isn’t mentioning the fact that (unlike the last time the Ravens ousted the Pats from the playoffs) Brady has two of the best safety valves in Gronkowski and Hernandez and the best underneath receiver in Welker.

Defense:  No one is debating who is better here.  The clear answer is the Ravens.  That being said, however, the debate that rages now:  Is the Ravens defense more overrated as the third ranked defense or is the Patriots defense more underrated as the 31^st ranked defense, is a good one.  The Patriots are playing better and coming together now more so than any point in the year.  We have seen them start to get some consistent pressure on the quarterback and look better in coverage.  The Ravens are clearly the better defense, but with the exception of some key interceptions on terrible decisions by the rookie T.J. Yates, they did not look nearly as vaunted as they have been (and were when they last made an appearance in and won the Super Bowl).

So the Ravens will win because:  T-Sizzle decides to show himself and actually hit Tom Brady and he knocks him out of the game.  Seriously though, the Ravens HAVE to get to Tom Brady while finding a way to neutralize the underneath routes to Gronkowski, Hernandez, and Welker while also shutting down any semblance of a running game like the one that the Texans established against them last week.

So the Patriots will win because:  Tom Brady and Bill Belichick continue to play with an apparent chip on their shoulders because they haven’t performed in the playoffs recently.  Tom Brady, arguably, has more and better weapons this year than he ever has and it is time for him to once again lead his team through the rest of the NFL.  Also the Patriots did arguably the smartest thing I have seen them do in a long time in terms of game planning.  Look for the same formation of Hernandez in the backfield that yielded some good runs last week, but this time Hernandez will be used to chip Suggs off the edge and catch some short passes that could turn into some big gains, and if the Ravens cheat, they can always run the ball out of that formation still.

Pick:  Patriots.

New York (N) (I put the “N” to really shove it in the faces of Jets fans that they aren’t playing this week) at San Francisco (-2.5)

Offense:  Well up until last week, everyone in the football world thought that in San Francisco they spelled offense “G-O-R-E.”  Now they have “The Catch 2.0” or whatever you want to call it, and they are ready to crown their new dynasty.  Lets not get ahead of ourselves.  Eli Manning is playing better than ANY quarterback in the 4^th quarter right now.  His receivers trust him and he seems to have the leadership qualities that have made Peyton so successful (about time).  Kevin Gilbride is the biggest problem for this offense, seriously when will he learn that Brandon Jacobs plays like he weighs 100 lbs.

Defense:  The 49ers defense is the strength of this team.  Their line, linebacking corps, and secondary are all strong.  They will need to come into the game and hit the Giants in the mouth early and often, and keep that pace through out the game.  The Giants’ d-line and secondary are scary for two very different reasons.  Their d-line is absurdly good and deep.  Their secondary could be the biggest underachieving unit in the NFL, they have 4 first-round picks and 2 second-round picks and yet they ranked 29^th in passing defense.

So the Giants will win because:  The defensive line gets to, and rattles Alex Smith.  Eli Manning should have a good game.  That being said, the 49ers defense is stout enough that the Giants defense will need to make some stops.  They need to keep Frank Gore bottled up to the extent that forces Alex Smith to do some work on 3^rd down.  They are very capable of doing this, but they need to execute their game plan on both sides of the ball (and have a decent one on the offensive side of the ball).

So the 49ers will win because:  Jim Harbaugh has had and will continue to have one of the greatest coaching seasons in recent Big 4 (NFL, NHL, MLB, NBA) sports history.  Seriously, this guy could will LeBron James to win a championship in the 4^th quarter if he got the shot.  If this team can avoid panic and stick to the game plan that allowed them to be successful all year, including against the Giants (although a much less hot Giants team), then they could find themselves in the Super Bowl.

Pick:  Giants (and to win).

NFL Divisional Round Handicapper

New Orleans at San Francisco (+3.5)

Why the Saints will win:

Does anyone really believe that Jim Harbaugh has, in one year, transformed Alex Smith into a NFC Championship game QB from the terrible first pick bust that he had been for so many years?  No.  Does anyone believe that the 49ers defense is as good as the numbers say they are after they played six games in the mid-major of NFL divisions?  No.  A team can only impose its physical will on another team if it can catch them; the Saints’ offense runs circles around everyone they play.

Why the 49ers will win:

Everyone has seen the numbers about Drew Brees’ reduced effectiveness away from home.  If you haven’t, he is 9-0 at home, but 5-3 on the road.  In the regular season he threw 29 TDs at home, but only 17 away.  But what is the one thing that everyone needs to know?  Saints can make all teams from the mid-major NFC West look like the Butler of the NFL.  Its like terrible teams are the Saints’ kryptonite.

Pick:  Saints.

Denver at New England (-13.5)

Why the Broncos will win:

Here we go again.  The Demigod formerly known as Tim Tebow, plus some defensive miscues, play calling ineptitude, and key players on defense missing from the other team.

Why the Patriots will win:

The good-haired god that has been leading the potent Patriots offense behind its terrific tight-ends, Tom Brady.  He is so dreamy he makes me want to use alliteration in telling his triumphs; he is like a mythological being.  This victory would probably not go among his best as it is against a team that is one win above .500, lets be real about the Broncos.

Pick:  Broncos (but Pats win).

Houston at Baltimore (-7.5)

Why the Ravens will win:

Ray Rice, Terrell Suggs, Ray Lewis, Naloti Ngata, Anquan Boldin, Ed Reed, Vonta Leach, Torrey Smith, Ed Dickson, Bryant McKinnie, Ben Grubbs, Matt Birk, Marshal Yanda, Michael Oher, Terrence Cody, Cory Redding, Jameel McClain, Jarret Johnson, Lardarius Webb, Bernard Pollard, Cary Williams.

Why the Texans will win:

Joe Flacco.

Pick:  Texans (but Ravens win).

New York (N) at Green Bay (-7.5)

Why the Giants will win:

We have seen it time and time again:  teams take a week off and then they have a first-round bye, and then they can’t knock the rust off fast enough.  We have seen the Giants do this before, get on a hot streak and look unstoppable.  The Giants love the fact that the NFL Playoffs are run like March Madness and not like the BCS, I am just in the mood for March Madness today.

Why the Packers will win:

On a truly serious and somber note, the death of Michael Philbin, son of Packers’ offensive coordinator Joe Philbin, is just the kind of thing that can give these players an emotional edge and allow them to realize a bigger reason to play for.  It is cane be just the thing to knock off the rust from a hiatus before the game begins.  My thoughts and prayers are with the Philbin family and the extremely close Packer community.

Pick:  Giants (but Packers win).

NFL Wild Card Round Handicapper

Bengals at Texans (-3)

Why the Bengals will win:

Home field advantage is vital in the playoffs and Reliant Stadium will be filled with Bengals fans because the only football professional football team that exists in the minds of Texas residents Romo-ed right out of the playoffs.  Seriously, the Texans have been the better team in Texas for the past two seasons and yet it is the pathetic Cowboys that get all the coverage, they haven’t done ANYTHING in the past 15 years but be the most overrated team in sports.

Why the Texans will win:

You could try and analyze this with some sort of depth, such as the Texans have an excellent running game to fall back on, or Andy Dalton has been ill and will not have a full week to prepare.  Or you could just realize that they are playing the Bengals…in the playoffs.

Pick:  Texans.

Detroit at New Orleans (-10.5)

Why the Lions will win:

Last year the Saints were ousted from the playoffs by the crotch-grabbing Marshawn Lynch and his rag tag group of Seahawks teammates.  This Lions team has Calvin Johnson who takes beast-mode to a whole new level.

Why the Saints will win:

Is that even a question?  The Saints can drop points faster than the Lions dropped games when they went 0-16 just a few seasons ago.  Drew Brees has as many weapons at receiver as the Lions have failed draft picks at receiver.

Pick:  Lions (but the Saints still win).

Atlanta at New York (N) (-3)

Why the Falcons will win:

The Falcons don’t need to play good defense, they just need to be adequate because Kevin Gilbride can’t run a good offense for the Giants, he isn’t even adequate.  Seriously, let Eli Manning be more like big brother and basically call his own offense because Gilbride is a moron.

Why the Giants will win:

The Giants have been here before and have veterans throughout the roster who know how to win in January.  Also, the gladiators that they have up front might actually start just killing people, because that is the next step for them.  I think that they should all agree to wear the terrifying facemask/visor combination that Chris Canty (the scrub of the bunch) wears.

Pick:  Falcons (and to win).

Pittsburgh at Denver (+8.5)

Why the Steelers will win:

The former Demigod known as Tim Tebow.

Why the Broncos will win:

The Demigod formerly known as Tim Tebow.

Pick:  Steelers.

Changes Required in College Athletics: Pay for Play and Don’t Be Fine With Title IX.

Ladies and Gentlemen:

I write to you today an extremely happy man.  Not because I have turned over a new leaf in 2012 (I am still the same sports curmudgeon that I have always been), and not because Christmas yielded me many gifts.  I am happy because this past week’s The New York Magazine gave everyone the most comprehensive and strongest argument for the payment of the young men playing football and basketball in college.

Look it up.

If you read anything this week, anything at all; read Let’s Start Paying College Athletes in the January 1, 2012 edition of The New York Times Magazine by Joe Nocera.  It’s great.

Nocera puts in bold print through out the short 4 page article the numbers that everyone should be made aware of.

The fact that the 15 colleges that have the highest paid football coaches, the same colleges that “can’t afford” to pay athletes a small amount are paying their football coaches a combined $53.4 million.

The fact that Rick Pitino was paid $5 million as the head coach of the Boston Celtics, and this year he will make $7.5 million as the head coach of the Louisville Cardinals (oh, and Doc Rivers is making $5.5 million as the head coach of the Celtics this year, so its not market inflation).

The fact that the University of Texas awarded its football players a very wonderful $3.1 million in scholarships, but also showered head coach Mack Brown with a ridiculous $5.1 million of salary.

The fact that television revenues for the entire, six-month NBA season total $930 million, and revenue for the entire, 3-week NCAA March Madness tournament total $770 million.

It is time to recognize that men’s college basketball and football are big business and that the veil of amateurism needs to shed.  Nocera made an argument that lays out steps that not only allows, but encourages young men to be actual student-athletes, not just athletes.

The strongest part of Nocera’s concept aside from the 6-year scholarship that must be offered to all athletes, is the notion that you only pay the athletes of the men’s basketball and football teams.

This brings me to a notion that Nocera does not entertain, but one that I believe should be addressed.  I believe it is time to either heavily amend or do away with Title IX.

Title IX is the rule in the NCAA that requires that schools have varsity athletic participation “substantially proportionate” to the undergraduate enrollment.  That is:  if a school is 50% men and 50% women, then its varsity athletes should be 50% men and 50% women.

Now, before you write me off as a misogynistic blowhard, please hear me out.  This rule was implemented with the purpose of giving women equal footing in the world of higher education by giving them equal chances at financial assistance that would allow many people otherwise unable to afford college, a chance to afford it.

Alright so here goes my argument.  First, there is no doubt, as can be seen in the continually increasing cost of tuition at colleges and universities, that the cost of offering higher education to all students (regardless of if they are a varsity athlete or not) is extremely high and going up.  Now that being said, a lot of schools choose to fund athletic programs.  Very few of these programs actually make money for the university and unquestionably two of the sports that have the best chance to make money are men’s basketball and men’s football.

The 2010-2011 season saw the Texas A&M women’s basketball team, the #7 team IN THE COUNTRY, operate at a loss of $2.8 million dollars.  $2.8 million dollars in the red.  Revenues from the Texas A&M football program that year? $41.9 million. $41.9 million.  So the women’s basketball is taking $2.8 million away from the University that could be going to students who otherwise could not afford a higher education.  Is that what Title IX was intended to do?

If schools can make money and thus have more money available for scholarships to men and women alike, then they should do it.  Colleges and universities are supposed to be places of higher education, NOT sports leagues.  Are sports a wonderful part of the atmosphere of colleges and universities? Yes.  They are also wonderful, however, at the intramural level (and much less expensive to operate).

How many more scholarships were offered and how much lower is the tuition at the University of Texas because of the $93.9 million dollars in football revenue in the 2010 season alone?  We may never know; it would take the school doing away with their football program.

There is another reason that Title IX has run its course and is no longer in touch with the times.  The number of women receiving undergraduate and post-graduate degrees is greater than men in the United States of America.  Title IX is no longer necessary to allow for the equal opportunity of women, instead the money that is made by men’s sports is needed to invest in strengthening the academic endeavors of young men and the number young men who strive for academic achievement, and not on money hemorrhaging ventures of women’s sports that are required by an out-of-date law.

Everyone should go and read Joe Nocera’s article Let’s Start Playing College Athletes in the most recent edition of The New York Times Magazine.  I hope that you will be able to read it with an open mind.  I also hope, but I know that it will be very difficult, that you consider my idea that Title IX has run its course as an effective law that has a positive impact on those affected.  There is no doubt that college sports will continue, and there is also no doubt that there must be changes to how they continue.

NFL Week 16 Handicapper

Houston at Indianapolis (+6.5)

This looked like a great last season match-up, one that might have even helped decide the AFC South.  Instead this is a late season ego boost for T.J. Yates after he finally looked human for the Texans.  Seriously, the same guys who once earned Super Bowl rings for the Colts, can now only help their team by earning them the first pick in the draft. DON’T BLOW IT.

Pick:  Colts.

Denver at Buffalo (+3)

Tim Tebow finally came crashing to Earth against Tom Brady’s Patriots.  So what better place for the “Mile High Messiah” to come back than the most God-forsaken place on Earth (especially when it comes to football)—Buffalo.

Pick:  Denver.

Arizona at Cincinnati (-4.5)

The Bengals are fighting for their playoff lives.  A.J. Green looked healthy again and while they didn’t look great, they got an important win last week.  The Cardinals are fighting to decide which QB with a QBR below 40 should be their starter; the man who was the best backup last year, Kevin Kolb, or the man the who broke all sort of records at Fordham, John Skelton; not the best options ever.

Pick:  Bengals.

Jacksonville at Tennessee (-7.5)

What’s the best thing about this season for these two teams?  That the NFL adjusted the day of games and that they stink bad enough that they won’t have to practice on Sunday so they can spend Christmas with their families.

Pick:  Titans.

Oakland at Kansas City (-2.5)

The Chiefs pulled off what no other team could this year—they beat the Packers.  And the Raiders pulled off what everyone thought they were capable of this season and that was blowing a huge lead by making mistakes that pee-wee teams don’t make as regularly as the Raiders do.

Pick:  Raiders (and to win).

Miami at New England (-7.5)

Aaron Hernandez finally broke out of the shadow of Rob Gronkowski last week as he was the prime target for Brady in their nationally televised beat down of the Broncos.  Hernandez has announced that by getting out from Gronkowski’s shadow, he has stopped the spread of the A-Hole Disease that has infected Gronkowski.

Pick:  Patriots.

New York (N) at New York (A) (-3)

Whats that?  Tom Coughlin is on the hot seat and Rex Ryan is running his mouth faster than he has ever actually run in his entire life?  That’s never happened before.  Oh wait, I am so sick of idiot New York coaches, idiot New York fans, and idiot New York players.  New York should be given a multi-year ban for being jerks.

Pick:  Giants (and to win).

St. Louis at Pittsburgh (-10)

To say that Sam Bradford has regressed and looks really bad this year is like saying Ben Roethlisberger has bad style…just doesn’t quite cover it.

Pick:  St. Louis.

Minnesota at Washington (-6.5)

This would be a good football game…if the Giants and Jets weren’t playing, if the Bears and Packers weren’t playing, if any of the other teams in the NFL weren’t playing, and if Nevada and Southern Miss weren’t playing in the Hawaii Bowl.

Pick:  Vikings.

Tampa Bay at Carolina (-7.5)

The Eagles and Chargers are most often cited as the most disappointing teams in the NFL so far this season.  The Buccaneers are right up there, however.  They have really let down the old folks who have been stuck in homes in the Tampa area by their children because they don’t want to take care of them.

Pick:  Panthers.

Cleveland at Baltimore (-11)

The “Colt McCoy Rule” will take affect this week.  Teams will now have independent physicians at each game to make sure that required concussion precautions are actually being taken.  How embarrassing is it to have a rule named after you because you got absolutely lit up by the Mack truck named James Harrison and your subsequent play led people to believe you had to be concussed because no one in their right mind plays that poorly.  People forget though that he plays for the Browns, and actually they ALL play that badly ALL the time.

Pick:  Ravens.

San Diego at Detroit (-2)

The Chargers finally looked like they have life once again and are still in the hunt for a division title.  Is it just me or should the Broncos, Raiders, Cowboys, and Giants be labeled as some of the most inept teams in the NFL because they haven’t been able to eliminate the Chargers and Eagles from the playoff picture after the heinous seasons that they have had?

Pick:  Chargers (and to win).

Philadelphia at Dallas (Pick)

The Eagles scare Jerry Jones.  You know what should scare Jerry Jones?  Certainties.  Death (knocking on his door), taxes (he pays a lot of them), and the fact that the Cowboys are now a terribly mediocre team led by a terribly mediocre QB, a terribly mediocre coach, and a flat out terrible defense.

Pick:  Cowboys.

San Francisco at Seattle (+1.5)

The 49ers came out in front of a national television audience and punched the always-tough Steelers in the mouth.  The only bad thing for the 49ers is that Ben Roethlisberger looked about as good as Caleb Hanie did against the Seahawks last week…and only one of them is injured.

Pick:  49ers.

Chicago at Green Bay (-11.5)

The Bears are going to start Josh McCown instead of the Ryan Leaf-looking Caleb Hanie.  Good thing the Bears didn’t pickup Donovan McNabb or David Garrard, because they would be so much worse than Caleb Hanie because he knows the system.  Apparently the system is to completely tank their playoff hopes this season and make the Bears fans plead for the return of previously vilified Jay Cutler next season to help them back to wherever it is he can take them.

Pick:  Packers.

Atlanta at New Orleans (-7)

Drew Brees will more than likely break the single season yardage record held by Dan Marino in either this game or the next.  Julio Jones will more than likely break the hearts of Falcons fans in these playoffs or the next…if he is healthy enough to play in them.  So much for all of those draft picks they gave up.

Pick:  Saints.

NFL Week 15 Handicapper

Jacksonville at Atlanta (12.5)

The Falcons looked poised to return to the playoffs yet again with Matt Ryan running the show.  The Jaguars looked poised for a move to Los Angeles because there is no such thing as a Jacksonville fan to watch the show, however pathetic, being put on by Blaine Gabbert.

Pick:  Falcons.

Dallas at Tampa Bay (+9)

The Cowboys players were excited for their trip to Tampa Bay, because they want to remain as warm as possible on their way down the chute in yet another December collapse.  The funny thing is, with the holidays America’s team collapses, but America’s economy gets a boost.

Pick:  Bucs.

Miami at Buffalo (Pick)

Surprising that after Monday Night Football featured Seattle and St. Louis last week that they didn’t pick up another game between division rivals that is completely unimportant and bound to be more boring than winter in upstate New York.

Pick:  Bills (to win)

Seattle at Chicago (-3.5)

It was the hand of God that forced Marion Barber out-of-bounds and caused him to fumble the ball last week against the Broncos, right?  Wrong, it was the fact that he played for the Dallas Cowboys and caught the disease known as “Tonius Decemberomo” or for short, “Tony Romo’s Disease.”

Pick:  Bears.

Tennessee at Indianapolis (+6.5)

Chris Johnson has looked like an all-pro yet again the last few weeks.  The closest thing that the Colts have to an all-pro is Jim Irsay’s Twitter game.

Pick:  Colts.

Green Bay at Kansas City (+11)

The biggest blow that Green Bay has suffered all year was Greg Jennings spraining his knee last week.  The biggest blow that the Chiefs suffered was starting the year with the roster that they had.

Pick:  Packers.

Cincinnati at St. Louis (+7)

Andy Dalton and the Bengals at one point found themselves holding the top seed in the AFC, but now they need to stop a slide and push their way into the playoffs.  Luckily for them, they play the Rams who are essentially an emergency brake in the cars of all other NFL teams.

Pick:  Bengals.

New Orleans at Minnesota (+7.5)

The Saints are arguably the biggest threat to beating the Packers.  The Vikings, meanwhile, are the biggest threat to beating the Jaguars to Los Angeles.  The Vikings could join the Lakers as professional teams to flee Minnesota for the glamour of LA, they might also finally win some titles if they make that move like the Lakers have.

Pick:  Saints.

Washington at New York (N) (-6.5)

Remember when the Redskins opened the year with a victory over the G-Men and we thought that the race was on in the NFC East?  Too bad Rex Grossman is like a time bomb and when he goes off he explodes crap in all directions.

Pick:  Giants.

Carolina at Houston (-6)

The Texans have already clinched the first division title in the franchise’s history, and did so in spite of injuries.  The Panthers have remained in obscurity and have done so in spite of being able to legally pay Cam Newton and his teammates.

Pick:  Panthers.

Detroit at Oakland (+3)

Both of these teams are trying to fight their way out of recent struggles and make their mark on playoff football.  No one has been talking about this game, however, because the last time that a game between these two has had playoff implications was before Al Davis knew what football was.

Pick:  Lions.

New England at Denver (+7.5)

Huh, didn’t know this game was being played this week.  No one is talking about it at all.  Has anyone else seen the ads for the Christian dating website?  I think that they should have Tim Tebow do an ad during the game saying, “Are you sick of pretty boys, and guys with babies out of wedlock?  Stop thinking about looks first and think about God’s role in your relationships.”  They should also make sure their ad comes immediately after Tom Brady’s Ugg boot commercial.

Pick:  Patriots.

New York (A) at Philadelphia (-3)

Teams that have Philadelphia on the schedule still are now being said to have “tough” schedules.  What will it take for people to give up on the hype and “potential” that this Eagles’ team has?  This team is terrible.  The players haven’t come together, the coaching staff is a joke, and people would rather watch a crappier version of Mike Vick play in Denver.

Pick:  Jets (and to win).

Cleveland at Arizona (-6.5)

Colt McCoy was in the news because the hit that he suffered at the hands of James Harrison earned Harrison a suspension and so it was played over and over and over again.  Good thing McCoy will have no recollection of seeing it at all because of the concussion that he wasn’t tested for.  Good job cracking down on those NFL.

Pick:  Cardinals.

Baltimore at San Diego (+2.5)

The Chargers are sliding hard at the end of the year and it looks like they will fall short of the playoffs because of Tim Tebow’s comebacks.  Norv Turner won’t end up being fired because of his own stupidity, but rather someone else’s genius.  Funny how that goes.

Pick:  Ravens.

Pittsburgh at San Francisco (-3)

Well this is weird, a good game between two classic, storied franchises featured on Monday night.  I have become so accustomed to not even thinking of watching football on Monday that I now have to reconsider my whole life it feels like.

Pick:  Steelers (and to win).